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""After finding no qualified candidates for the position of principal, the school board is extremely pleased to announce the appointment of David Steele to the post."~Philip Streifer, Superintendent of Schools, Barrington, Rhode Island "

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"My mom said she learned how to swim. Someone took her out in the lake and threw her off the boat. That's how she learned how to swim. I said, 'Mom, they weren't trying to teach you how to swim.'"

Paula Poundstone

There's no such thing as a soul. It's just something they made up to scare kids, like the boogeyman or Michael Jackson.

Bart

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Frank Rizzo, ex

police chief and mayor of Philadelphia I've always thought that underpopulated countries in Africa are vastly underpolluted.Lawrence Summers, chief economist of the World Bank, explaining why we should export toxic wastes to Third World countries

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There is no mistake so greatas that of always being right !!!

My Fortune Cookie

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I told him, 'Son, what is it with you. Is it ignorance or apathy?' He said, 'Coach, I don't know and I don't care.'

Frank Layden, Utah Jazz president, on a former player

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Topo Gigio

There are two types of people in this world, good and bad. The good sleep better, but the bad seem to enjoy the waking hours much more.unknown

There are two types of people in this world, good and bad. The good sleep better, but the bad seem to enjoy the waking hours much more.

unknown

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