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""You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking 5 miles a day when she was 60. She's 97 today and we don't know where the hell she is."--Ellen DeGeneres "

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"Researchers have discovered that chocolate produces some of the same reactions in the brain as marijuana...The researchers also discovered other similarities between the two, but can't remember what they are."

Matt Lauer on NBC's Today show, August 22.

Mr.Simpson--A Twizzler is not a sprinkle...A Mounds is not a sprinkle...A Jolly Rancher is NOT a sprinkle!!!!

Apu

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Today I met with a subliminal advertising executive for just a second.

Steven Wright

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When I read about the evils of drinking,I gave up reading.

Henny Youngman

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I haven't committed a crime. What I did was fail to comply with the law.

David Dinkins, New York City Mayor, answering accusations that he failed to pay his taxes.

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There are two types of people in this world, good and bad. The good sleep better, but the bad seem to enjoy the waking hours much more.unknown

There are two types of people in this world, good and bad. The good sleep better, but the bad seem to enjoy the waking hours much more.

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