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I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three.

Elayne Boosler

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When I read about the evils of drinking,I gave up reading.

Henny Youngman

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Every man has his tale of woe. Unfortunately in life there is more woe than tail

Rodney Dangerfield

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