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""My mom said she learned how to swim. Someone took her out in the lake and threw her off the boat. That's how she learned how to swim. I said, 'Mom, they weren't trying to teach you how to swim.'"--Paula Poundstone "

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"Nothing in the world can take the place of persistence.Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent.Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb.Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts.Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent."

Calvin Coolidge

Lisa, remember me as I am - filled with murderous rage. (y2k disaster)

Homer

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The biggest cause of trouble in the world today is that the stupid people are so sure about things and the intelligent folks are so full of doubts.

Bertrand Russell

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Beginning in February 1976 your assistance benefits will be discontinued. Reason: it has been reported to our office that you expired on January 1, 1976.

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I haven't committed a crime. What I did was fail to comply with the law.

David Dinkins, New York City Mayor, answering accusations that he failed to pay his taxes.

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The Fuller Brush Man

There are two types of people in this world, good and bad. The good sleep better, but the bad seem to enjoy the waking hours much more.unknown

There are two types of people in this world, good and bad. The good sleep better, but the bad seem to enjoy the waking hours much more.

unknown

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