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""I ask people why they have deer heads on their walls. They always say because it's such a beautiful animal. There you go. I think my mother is attractive, but I have photographs of her."--Ellen DeGeneres "

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"I told him, 'Son, what is it with you. Is it ignorance or apathy?' He said, 'Coach, I don't know and I don't care.' "

Frank Layden, Utah Jazz president, on a former player

I won't lie to you. On this job, you will be shot at.

Apu

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Chicago Rotary Club journal, Gyrator. The streets are safe in Philadelphia. It's only the people who make them unsafe.

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Ever wonder if illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?

John Mendoza

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I have such poor vision I can date anybody.

Garry Shandling

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Washtub wringers

There are two types of people in this world, good and bad. The good sleep better, but the bad seem to enjoy the waking hours much more.unknown

There are two types of people in this world, good and bad. The good sleep better, but the bad seem to enjoy the waking hours much more.

unknown

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