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"Frank Rizzo, ex~police chief and mayor of Philadelphia"I've always thought that underpopulated countries in Africa are vastly underpolluted."Lawrence Summers, chief economist of the World Bank, explaining why we should export toxic wastes to Third World countries "

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"I don't know what's wrong with my television set. I was getting C-Span and the Home Shopping Network on the same station. I actually bought a congressman."

Bruce Baum

Will this bewitching floozy, seduce this humble newsie? Oh, what's a paperboy to...doooo?

Apu

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I have such poor vision I can date anybody.

Garry Shandling

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There are 3 kinds of people:Those who can count,and those who cannot.

George Carlin

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Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that but not with all those flies and death and stuff.

Mariah Carey

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There are two types of people in this world, good and bad. The good sleep better, but the bad seem to enjoy the waking hours much more.unknown

There are two types of people in this world, good and bad. The good sleep better, but the bad seem to enjoy the waking hours much more.

unknown

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