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""I ask people why they have deer heads on their walls. They always say because it's such a beautiful animal. There you go. I think my mother is attractive, but I have photographs of her."--Ellen DeGeneres "

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"There are 3 kinds of people:Those who can count,and those who cannot."

George Carlin

Yes, honey ... Just squeeze your rage up into a bitter little ball and release it at an appropriate time, like that day I hit the referee with the whiskey bottle..

Homer

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Today I met with a subliminal advertising executive for just a second.

Steven Wright

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Nothing in the world can take the place of persistence.Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent.Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb.Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts.Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent.

Calvin Coolidge

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When I read about the evils of drinking,I gave up reading.

Henny Youngman

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The Fuller Brush Man

There are two types of people in this world, good and bad. The good sleep better, but the bad seem to enjoy the waking hours much more.unknown

There are two types of people in this world, good and bad. The good sleep better, but the bad seem to enjoy the waking hours much more.

unknown

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