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""I ask people why they have deer heads on their walls. They always say because it's such a beautiful animal. There you go. I think my mother is attractive, but I have photographs of her."--Ellen DeGeneres "

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"I ask people why they have deer heads on their walls. They always say because it's such a beautiful animal. There you go. I think my mother is attractive, but I have photographs of her."

Ellen DeGeneres

I'll use your head as a bucket and paint my house with your brains

Moe

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"After finding no qualified candidates for the position of principal, the school board is extremely pleased to announce the appointment of David Steele to the post."

Philip Streifer, Superintendent of Schools, Barrington, Rhode Island

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I was raised by just my mom. See, my father died when I was eight years old. At least, that's what he told us in the letter.

Drew Carey

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Ever wonder if illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?

John Mendoza

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There are two types of people in this world, good and bad. The good sleep better, but the bad seem to enjoy the waking hours much more.unknown

There are two types of people in this world, good and bad. The good sleep better, but the bad seem to enjoy the waking hours much more.

unknown

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