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I planted some bird seed. A bird came up. Now I don't know what to feed it.

Steven Wright

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Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life.

Brooke Shields, during an interview to become spokesperson for a federal anti-smoking campaign

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I ask people why they have deer heads on their walls. They always say because it's such a beautiful animal. There you go. I think my mother is attractive, but I have photographs of her.

Ellen DeGeneres