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""The doctors X~rayed my head and found nothing."~Dizzy Dean explaining how he felt after being hit on the head by a ball in the 1934 World Series"

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"USA Today has come out with a new survey: Apparently three out of four people make up 75 percent of the population."

David Letterman

Christmas is a time when people of all religions come together to worship Jesus Christ.

Bart

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The perversity of nature is nowhere better demonstrated by the fact that, when exposed to the same atmosphere,bread becomes hard while crackers become soft.

Nabisco

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I told him, 'Son, what is it with you. Is it ignorance or apathy?' He said, 'Coach, I don't know and I don't care.'

Frank Layden, Utah Jazz president, on a former player

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There are 3 kinds of people:Those who can count,and those who cannot.

George Carlin

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Marlin Perkins

There are two types of people in this world, good and bad. The good sleep better, but the bad seem to enjoy the waking hours much more.unknown

There are two types of people in this world, good and bad. The good sleep better, but the bad seem to enjoy the waking hours much more.

unknown

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