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Researchers have discovered that chocolate produces some of the same reactions in the brain as marijuana...The researchers also discovered other similarities between the two, but can't remember what they are.

Matt Lauer on NBC's Today show, August 22.

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I can't really remember the names of the clubs that we went to.

Shaquille O'Neal on whether he had visited the Parthenon during his visit to Greece

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I have such poor vision I can date anybody.

Garry Shandling