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Only dull people have clean houses

Anonymous

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Question: If you could live forever, would you and why?Answer: I would not live forever, because we should not live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever.

Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss USA contest Oh My God!

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Beginning in February 1976 your assistance benefits will be discontinued. Reason: it has been reported to our office that you expired on January 1, 1976.