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""I had a linguistics professor who said that it's man's ability to use language that makes him the dominant species on the planet. That may be. But I think there's one other thing that separates us from animals -- we aren't afraid of vacuum cleaners."--Jeff Stilson "

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"Letter from the Illinois Department of Public Aid Rotarians, be patriotic! Learn to shoot yourself. "

Lisa, remember me as I am - filled with murderous rage. (y2k disaster)

Homer

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There is no mistake so greatas that of always being right !!!

My Fortune Cookie

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I planted some bird seed. A bird came up. Now I don't know what to feed it.

Steven Wright

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"After finding no qualified candidates for the position of principal, the school board is extremely pleased to announce the appointment of David Steele to the post."

Philip Streifer, Superintendent of Schools, Barrington, Rhode Island

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There are two types of people in this world, good and bad. The good sleep better, but the bad seem to enjoy the waking hours much more.unknown

There are two types of people in this world, good and bad. The good sleep better, but the bad seem to enjoy the waking hours much more.

unknown

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