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I had a linguistics professor who said that it's man's ability to use language that makes him the dominant species on the planet. That may be. But I think there's one other thing that separates us from animals

we aren't afraid of vacuum cleaners.

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I planted some bird seed. A bird came up. Now I don't know what to feed it.

Steven Wright

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Beginning in February 1976 your assistance benefits will be discontinued. Reason: it has been reported to our office that you expired on January 1, 1976.