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I haven't committed a crime. What I did was fail to comply with the law.

David Dinkins, New York City Mayor, answering accusations that he failed to pay his taxes.

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You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking 5 miles a day when she was 60. She's 97 today and we don't know where the hell she is.

Ellen DeGeneres

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"After finding no qualified candidates for the position of principal, the school board is extremely pleased to announce the appointment of David Steele to the post."

Philip Streifer, Superintendent of Schools, Barrington, Rhode Island