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I planted some bird seed. A bird came up. Now I don't know what to feed it.

Steven Wright

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I've been doing the Fonda workout: the Peter Fonda workout. That's where I wake up, take a hit of acid, smoke a joint, and go to my sister's house and ask her for money.

Kevin Meaney

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I can't really remember the names of the clubs that we went to.

Shaquille O'Neal on whether he had visited the Parthenon during his visit to Greece